6 ways to stay strong in a difficult season
How have you been holding up lately?
Everywhere we look, we see physical suffering, vocational challenges, spiritual confusion, and emotional trauma. Odds are, you are currently going through something difficult mystery joker.
As someone who went from feeling like I was on top of the world to becoming paralyzed below my shoulders after a freak car accident, I am passionate about helping people get through tough times.
In the years since my accident, I discovered six incredibly powerful yet simple actions that will help you persevere, no matter what you face.
I hope my findings can be helpful to you, whether you are in the midst of a season of great suffering or simply hoping to encourage others.
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1: Remember the ultimate source of hope.
The spectrum of suffering is vast: Physical, financial, relational, mental, spiritual, etc. In each realm, we are discontent when we experience something contrary to what we assume should be the norm.
But should a pristine body, padded bank account, and a conflict-and-carefree existence—all of which can vanish in an instant—really be where we place our ultimate hope?
Jesus offers us the hope of a renewed, resurrected body, a rich inheritance that will never spoil or fade, an everlasting dwelling place in his presence, and leadership as the perfect King in a kingdom that will never end.
No more tears. No more pain. Paradise for eternity.
Doesn’t that sound so much better than even the greatest promises the world offers?
Let’s anchor our hope there.
2: Keep the endgame in mind.
What we believe about eternity affects every area of our lives: marriage, parenting, work, finances, leisure—and suffering.
When we live in light of the fact that this earth is only our temporary home, we are able to best leverage our time and keep our sanity when life doesn’t make sense.
It can be easy to get frustrated in the moment. I often wonder, is this trial going to last forever? I have to remind myself that a given moment in a tough season is just a snapshot in the entirety of my life, and, furthermore, that this life on earth is just a sliver in the lens of eternity.
3: Remain both hopeful AND realistic.
Admiral James Stockdale, a Vietnam prisoner of war, spoke of how hope fueled his coping strategy: “I never lost faith in the end of the story, I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life.”
My thought process has been similar. However, oftentimes I run into the temptation to paint an idyllic resolution scenario in my mind, complete with arbitrary deadlines, without taking into account the reality of present difficulties. This is a dangerous recipe that only leads to disappointment.
This same Vietnam POW who inspired me to never give up gave profound insight when he was asked about those who didn’t make it out of Vietnam:
“Oh, that’s easy, the optimists. Oh, they were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart.”
I encourage us all to take Stockdale’s advice to heart:
“You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”
4: Hold future plans loosely.
As the ancient proverb goes: “Man plans, God laughs.”
I have found that I am most effectively able to navigate a challenging season or deal with difficult news when I am not tied to one specific outcome. For many years I believed I had written the perfect script for my life. Imagine my frustration when God wasn’t reading His lines.
God reminds us in Isaiah 55:8-9, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”
This reality reminds me to ask myself if I am yielding to God’s plan for my life, or if I’m simply shaking my fist at Him for not cooperating with my naïve, limited perspective. I want to stay aware that the story of my life is ultimately about what God is doing.
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5: Find a meaningful project to work on.
After reading psychiatrist Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning during the most difficult season of my life, I recognized a deep hole that I had previously been unaware of.
Frankl researched and wrote about his revealing conclusions regarding basic human needs. Rather than merely seeking pleasure, Frankl theorizes humans have a deep need for three things in order to live meaningful lives:
- Have a project to work on that requires unique skills and abilities, preferably a project that helps others.
- Share your experiences within the context of safe, loving relationships.
- Find a redemptive perspective to your suffering and challenges.
I have discovered that putting my time and effort behind something that matters and adds value to someone else’s life is necessary for staying motivated and experiencing joy, no matter what my circumstances may be. This could be serving, mentoring, writing, counseling, or even a job you find great meaning in.
6: Focus on the good coming out of the trial.
People don’t always emerge from hardships “stronger” or “better.” Oftentimes the pain of this world leaves us broken and bitter. Having a redemptive view of suffering is absolutely crucial in guarding against this. Dealing with one physical issue after another often leaves me feeling like a punching bag. I frequently find myself thinking, “Can’t I catch a break?”
In the hardest moments when I’m pressing through bouts of pain and questioning where God is, calibrating my mind with the truths of the Bible proves to be powerful.
The book of James promises that, if we let them, these trials will develop perseverance and make us mature and complete. Throughout seemingly endless trials, I can trust God is developing perseverance in me that ultimately is for my good. Pausing to reflect on past trials can also be helpful. It is generally much easier in hindsight to find redemptive aspects to suffering.
Focusing on how God has redeemed situations in the past reminds me to trust Him and encourages me to press forward with faith, knowing the best is yet to come.
Staying Strong in Your Difficult Time
Incorporating these ways of thinking is not a magic fix. It is no guarantee to relieve us from pain and suffering.
Instead, these six strategies will make the pain less powerful, more bearable, and—most importantly—more meaningful.
Which of these tactics did you find most helpful?
If you found this blog helpful, please consider sharing it with someone in your own life who is currently in the midst of a difficult season.
Interested in going deeper with this content? I worked with a designer to bring these lessons to life, along with an added interactive experience for the reader. Download THE PATH TO PERSEVERANCE here
Hi Ryan! Very helpful perspective on perseverance! I liked that the first one is anchoring our lives in the ultimate hope of Christ. For me it’s helpful to remind myself that He promises to be with us in our trials. So even as we await a future heavenly realm as believers we begin eternal life in Him now, no matter our circumstances. I also loved the point that it helps not to be tied to a specific outcome! We live in a very results-driven culture and we need to give this over to our Heavenly Father who knows infinitely more than we do about what is best. We still need to plan and be prudent, but leave room for God to work in surprising ways. Thanks for sharing!
Jen, glad you found it helpful. Your last point reminded me of the quote “work as if it depends on me but pray knowing it depends on God”
This line here stuck out to me probably the most:
“But should a pristine body, padded bank account, and a conflict-and-carefree existence—all of which can vanish in an instant—really be where we place our ultimate hope?”
What I realized when I read that is that I am 100% guilty of measuring my “hope in Jesus” by how well those things you mentioned are going in my life.
It’s like “oh God must be happy with me, I got a raise.”
Or “I must be REALLYYY faithful these days, because God is being so faithful to me.”
Now I know that God promises to always be faithful to us and I believe that and he also promises good things to his children but I repent from believing that because he is being faithful or that good things are coming my way that that is where my hope should lie.
Does that make sense? Any tips for staying out of this trap moving forward?
Zach, this is an incredibly easy trap to fall in. I’ve done it many times.
Whenever I start to slip into that I have to remind myself of the Pharisee/tax collector contrast Jesus paints in Luke 18.
I did NOTHING to earn God’s favor. So when I am unhappy with how life is going, I need to remember it’s not a matter of me not earning it either. God isn’t here to be at my every beck and call